Mental health2. January 20260 Comments
Do you know that? You have a headache for which no doctor finds a cause. Or the back hurts the most when the stress in the office overtakes. Perhaps it is also this unexplained "lump in the throat" that literally deprives you of the air to breathe, although organically everything seems fine. Many people run from specialist to specialist, hoping for a diagnosis, and at the end hear the sentence: "You don’t lack anything, that’s psychosomatic."
This phrase often feels like a rejection. As if the pain was imaginary. But the opposite is the case: Psychosomatic complaints are real. They are the silent but immersive language of our soul, trying to alert us to unresolved conflicts, repressed feelings or chronic overload. In this article, I invite you to change your perspective: away from the "fight against the symptom" to the loving "listening".
Important findings of this article:
- Why "psychosomatic" does not mean "imagined", but is a real physical reaction to mental stress.
- How to learn to translate the specific signals of your body (stomach, back, skin).
- Why we have forgotten to perceive our bodies and how to restore that connection.
- Concrete first steps to get out of the cycle of pain and tension.
The body as the stage of feelings
We often live as if body and mind were two completely separate systems. Here the head that thinks, plans and works – there the body that carries us from A to B and should please not cause any problems. But this separation is an illusion. Our nervous system runs through every fiber of our being. Every feeling we feel – be it joy, fear, anger or grief – immediately triggers a biochemical reaction in the body.
Imagine you're scared. Your heart is racing, your muscles are tensing, your breath is flat. This is a healthy, short-term response. But what happens when we live in a permanent situation of overwhelming? If we chronically suppress fears or do not allow grief? The body remains in a permanent state of alarm. The energy, which was actually intended for the processing of emotions, accumulates and seeks an outlet.
In my work as a psychotherapist, I often experience that clients only seek help when the body pulls the emergency brake. If you feel like you are at such a point, I invite you to read more about My therapeutic approach to read. We are often masters at rationalizing mental pain ("it’s just stressful"), but we can’t easily ignore physical pain.
The Map of Complaints: What Does My Body Express?
Of course, every person is unique, and a symptom should always be medically clarified first. But if no organic cause is found, it is worth taking a look at the symbolic level. The body often does not choose the place of pain by chance.
The Back: The Burden We Carry
Back pain is the number one common disease. Often they symbolize an overload. We have "burdened ourselves too much". The lower back often stands for existential fears or the feeling of not having support ("cannot show a backbone"). The upper back and neck area, on the other hand, often stores the responsibility we carry for others or the pressure to function perfectly. It’s like stress is literally sitting in our necks.
The Stomach and Digestion: What We Don't Want to Swallow
Our stomach is often referred to as the "second brain". Here we intuitively sense whether something is right or not. Stomach discomfort, nausea or irritable bowel can indicate that there are situations in our life that are "heavy in our stomach". Perhaps we have to swallow anger instead of expressing it, or we simply cannot digest a certain disappointment.
Skin: The boundary between inside and outside
The skin is our contact organ with the world. It separates us and makes us feel touch at the same time. Skin problems such as atopic dermatitis or sudden rashes often occur in phases where we feel "thin-skinned." Perhaps our borders have been crossed, or we long for closeness, but at the same time we forbid ourselves. The skin visibly shows what is bubbling inside.
Headaches and Migraines: The pressure of control
People who are prone to migraines are often very conscientious, perfectionist and try to keep everything under control. The head "smokes" from all circles of thought. The pain then often radically forces to rest, to darkness, to retreat – exactly what the person often does not allow himself in everyday life.
Why we have forgotten to feel
Why do we even let it get this far? Why don’t we hear the whisper of the body before it becomes a cry? The answer often lies in our biography and our society. We learn to function early on. A child who cries often hears, "It’s not so bad." A young man who is afraid is told, "Bring yourself together."
We train ourselves to split off unpleasant sensations. This is called dissociation. We cut the line to the body in order not to feel the pain, anger or fear. This is a genius psyche survival strategy in the short term, especially in traumatic situations. But in the long term, we pay a high price: we lose access not only to pain, but also to liveliness, joy and our intuition.
In a therapy, it is often just about: to repair this line carefully again. If you want support, you can always Arrange an appointment. It is not a matter of simply flipping the switch again – that would often be too overwhelming. It is about a careful re-knowledge of your own body in a protected room.
The Way Back to Connection: First Steps
The good news is that The connection between body and soul is never completely broken off. It's just muted. We can learn to turn the volume up again slowly. Here are some impulses on how to start seeing your body again as a partner instead of an opponent.
1. Validate the pain instead of fighting it
The first impulse in pain is usually resistance: This has to go! I have to work! Next time, try to stop for a moment. Place one hand on the painful area. Breathe in there. Inside, say, I feel you. You can be there. This change from rejection to attention alone can calm the nervous system. Pain is often strengthened by resistance to it.
2. The question of "what" instead of "why"
Instead of asking yourself, Why am I having this again?, ask yourself, Why is this symptom preventing me right now? And what does it force me to do? If the migraine forces you to go to bed – maybe the need for rest was already there for weeks, but was ignored? The symptom is often the guardian of a neglected need.
3. Taking an Emotional Inventory
Take five minutes in the evening. Go through the day, but not at the level of events ("I’ve worked, bought"), but at the level of feelings. Was there a moment you annoyed, but didn't say anything? Was there a moment of sadness you wiped away? Write it up. When we call feelings, they no longer have to manifest themselves physically.
4. Professional accompaniment search
Psychosomatic relationships are complex and often deeply rooted in our history. It's hard to see your own blind spots alone. Psychotherapy here offers a room to decrypt the language of your body. In my sessions we use the conversation, but also mindfulness to the here and now, to understand what your body tells. More information my services.
A case example from practice
Let me tell you about "Markus" (name changed). Markus came to me for massive sleep disorders and heartaches. Cardiologically, he was completely healthy. Over the course of the talks, it turned out that Markus worked in a job that was against his ethical values. He sold his soul, as he called it later. His heart did not rage because it was sick – it was afraid and internal conflict.
When Markus began to understand these relationships and finally took the courage to reorientate himself professionally, the hearth and sleep disorders disappeared almost completely. The body no longer had to alarm because the message had arrived.
Psychotherapy online: Does this work on physical themes?
Many people wonder if an online therapy is suitable when it comes to physical symptoms. The answer is a clear yes. Since we work on the psychic causes and the perception, the physical space is secondary. Often clients feel safer in their usual environment at home, making it easier to feel into the body. In addition, there is no stress on arrival, which can be a great relief for people with pain or exhaustion. If you are unsure, please look at my FAQ sectionwhere I answer a lot of questions about the process.
Conclusion: An invitation to friendship with yourself
Psychosomatics is not a one-way street in pain, but an invitation to holiness. Your body is not your enemy that sabotages. He's your honest friend who tells you the truth, even if it's uncomfortable. When we learn to understand this language again, we not only recover health, but a deeper, more authentic life.
It requires courage to watch. But you don't have to go this way alone. If you are ready to decrypt your body's messages, I am happy to be at your side.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
1. Does "psychosomatic" mean that I am only in the pain?
No, absolutely not. The pain is real and measurable. "Psychosomatic" means only that the cause is not primarily in damage to the tissue, but in an interaction between mental stress and physical reaction. Her suffering is real and deserves treatment.
Two. How do I decide if I have to go to the doctor or to the psychotherapist?
The first way should always lead to the doctor to exclude organic causes. If medical examinations do not provide sufficient explanation or do not attack treatments, the course for psychotherapy is very advisable. Often parallel treatment is most useful.
3. Can psychotherapy cure chronic pain?
Psychotherapy can contribute significantly to alleviation. By lowering the stress level, solving the underlying conflicts and changing the handling of the pain, the symptom often loses its need. With many clients, the complaints are significantly reduced or disappear completely.
4. How long does it take for physical symptoms to improve?
This is very individual. Sometimes a relief occurs as soon as the connection has been recognized (the "Aha effect"). Often, however, it is a process because the body needs time to find out from the chronic state of alarm. Patience and self-compassion are important companions here.
5. Does the health insurance cover the costs of psychotherapy for psychosomatic complaints?
Since I run a private practice, the billing is done directly with you. However, many private health insurance companies cover the costs in whole or in part. Exact information on the framework conditions can be found on my page under Contact details.
Very warmly,
Her Katja Bulfon
