Psychotherapy & SupportDecember 19, 20250 Comments
Do you know the feeling of standing at a crossroads and simply not being able to take a step forward? Whether it's the "little" questions of everyday life or life-changing decisions in your career or relationship, the fear of choosing the wrong path can really paralyze us. In this article, we explore the psychology behind indecision and show you ways to reconnect with your intuition.
Key findings:
- Decision paralysis often arises from fear of loss, not from a lack of knowledge.
- Trying to make purely rational decisions often separates us from our most valuable guide: our body's feelings.
- Psychotherapy offers a safe space to sort through ambivalent feelings and uncover access to one's own will.
- There are no objectively "perfect" decisions, only those that are in line with our current values.
When your head gets too loud and your gut gets too quiet
We live in an era of unlimited possibilities. What paradoxically sounds like freedom often turns out to be an enormous burden on our psyche. Psychology calls this phenomenon the "paradox of choice." The more options we have available to us, the harder it is for us to choose one, and the more dissatisfied we often are with the choice we make. Why is that?
Behind the inability to make decisions often lies deep-rooted perfectionism. We want to find the one right solution, the path that is guaranteed to be free of pain, regret, or disadvantages. But life does not offer this guarantee. Those who wait until all risks have been eliminated remain stuck. This rigidity is often more exhausting than the decision itself. It ties up massive mental energy that we then lack in our everyday lives.
The fear of doing the "wrong" thing as a hindrance
Deep within decision paralysis usually lies the fear of loss. Every decision in favor of something is inevitably a decision against all other options. When we choose a career path, we unconsciously mourn the opportunities that we are ruling out. In my practice, I often encounter people who are so preoccupied with avoiding mistakes that they completely stop actively shaping their lives.
This fear often has biographical roots. Were mistakes seen as learning opportunities or strictly punished during your childhood? Were you allowed to develop your own preferences as a child, or were you often told what was "best" for you? If we learn early on that our own perceptions are unreliable, we unlearn how to listen to our inner compass. This is where I come in with my psychotherapeutic services : Together, we explore the origins of these blockages in order to gently resolve them.
The body as a resonating body
An essential step out of paralysis is to reconnect with the body. Our minds are masters at creating lists of pros and cons that go round and round in endless circles. Our bodies, on the other hand, often send much faster and clearer signals—we have simply forgotten how to perceive them.
Think about an upcoming decision. When you think about option A, does your chest tighten? Does your breathing become shallower? Or do you feel a sense of expansiveness and slight excitement? These somatic markers are valuable guides. It's not about turning off your mind, but rather resynchronizing it with your feelings. Psychotherapy helps you to perceive and interpret these subtle signals again.
Learning to tolerate ambivalence
A common misconception is that we can only make a decision when we are 100% sure. The truth is that when it comes to big life questions, there is rarely 100% certainty. There will always be a part of us that doubts and another that wants to be brave. We call this simultaneity of conflicting feelings ambivalence.
Mature decisions are not made by eliminating doubts, but by enduring this tension. We can learn to say, "I'm afraid it will go wrong, but I'm still choosing this path because it's important to me." This ability to "tolerate ambiguity" is a sign of psychological stability.
How psychotherapy creates clarity
We are often so caught up in our own thought loops that we cannot see the forest for the trees. As a psychotherapist, I do not act as an advisor who tells you what to do—that would take away your responsibility and, with it, your power. Rather, I am like a mirror that helps you see your own motives, values, and fears more clearly.
In a safe environment, we can "practice" dealing with the situation. We play out scenarios, not only cognitively, but also emotionally. How would it feel if you broke up with them? What would happen inside you if you ended or deepened the relationship? Through this experience-based exploration, the future often loses its threatening character.
Small steps instead of giant leaps
If the big decision seems too daunting, break it down into smaller steps. No one has to reorganize their entire life in a single afternoon. Often, it's enough to know the next small step. Movement brings clarity. Only when we start moving do our perspectives change and do we receive new information that we would never have gotten if we had remained stuck in one place.
If you feel that you have been going round in circles for a long time and cannot find a way out on your own, I warmly invite you to seek support. You don't have to go through this alone. You can easily get in touch via my website. contact meto schedule an initial consultation. Often, the first session alone brings noticeable relief.
The path back to self-confidence
Making decisions is like a muscle that can be trained. Start small. Make your decision at the restaurant within 30 seconds. Choose your walking route intuitively, without looking at the map. With every small decision you make—even if the outcome isn't perfect—you learn: "I can deal with the consequences. I won't go under."
This growing self-confidence (in the truest sense of the word: trusting yourself) is the basis for a self-determined life. It's not about living a life without mistakes, but a life that is truly yours. If you would like to learn more about who will accompany you in this process, you can find out more at About Me .
Conclusion
Indecisiveness is not a sign of weakness, but often an expression of high standards and fears that need to be acknowledged. The way out of this paralysis is not to think even more, but to rediscover your own feelings and accept uncertainties. It's okay to take it easy and take your time – but don't forget to live.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Why do I find it so difficult to make decisions?
This is often driven by perfectionism and the fear of making mistakes or being rejected. An overload of options (the paradox of choice) can also overwhelm our brain and lead to mental blocks.
Can psychotherapy take decisions off my hands?
No, and that's a good thing. Therapy does not relieve you of responsibility, but rather strengthens your ability to make good decisions yourself. It helps you rediscover your own desires and values.
What if I make the wrong decision?
In most cases, decisions are not irreversible. The fear of making the "wrong" choice is often greater than the actual damage. We work to strengthen your confidence in your ability to deal with consequences (resilience).
How can I tell the difference between fear and intuition?
Fear often feels constricting, frantic, and loud ("You must immediately..."). Intuition is usually a calm, clear, but persistent inner voice or a physical feeling of coherence. Distinguishing between the two is part of the therapeutic process.
How do I make an appointment if I need assistance?
It's quite simple. If you feel you need help finding your way around, you can find all the information you need to make an appointment in my FAQ section or directly on the contact page.
Sincerely,
Katja Bulfon
